Wow, has it really been that long since I last posted?
We seem to be sliding downward again with Jack. Last Thursday he had a meltdown when his tutor got here over her asking him how he was, seriously, that's all it took. He refused to answer and began screaming and crying and throwing things. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to quit anytime soon she just picked him up and carried him up to his play room where he proceeded to go on for what seemed like forever. They eventually got through his work for the day, but not without a lot of tears. Friday was more of the same, not quite as bad, but not what we've come to expect as "normal." No tutor today and it was rough. He had a terrible day at school - which I wasn't expecting being that it was Valentine's Day so there was fun stuff going on, including the cupcakes he helped me make last night. But he had quite a few big tantrums. This entire afternoon was spent picking fights with Liam. Eventually it ended in a big blow out with him slapping me across the face and proceeding to throw everything he could all over the living room. I just sat on the couch holding Liam and ignoring him until he stopped - it was obviously attention seeking - everything he threw he would pause and look at me, waiting to get a reaction. Eventually he realized that he wasn't going to get attention like that and came over and nicely asked for a cup of milk. It amazes me how quickly he can calm down sometimes. I was relieved, for one it was nice that he stopped on his own, and for two, the fact that he did stop just like that was proof that it was simply just trying to get attention. I told him he had to clean up the damage (which was quite extensive, nothing was broken but it looked as if a toy store had exploded in the living room. this quite frankly scares the s*** out of me. he's three and can throw one hell of a tantrum- what will we do when he's 13?!?) before he got his milk and he did with no complaints. We then had a little "heart to heart" about what he did and how it wasn't ok and he curled up on the couch as if nothing had happened. Sometimes it's all so confusing. I wonder if this is the typical "horrible three year old" behavior (because he is three, Autistic or not, he is three years old and has to deal with all that stuff on top of his Autism) or the Autism. I'm hoping to get a chance to sit down and talk with his BCBA (the woman in charge of his tutoring program) and pick her brain about all this stuff. It's hard when you're changing programs as frequently as we have had to this last year. It all just becomes a jumbled mess.
School is still a nightmare. I seriously do not know what I'm going to do with them. UGH! I heard that there is a teacher at the school Jack went to for summer semester that "specializes" in Autism and basically has a preschool classroom set up specifically for Autistic children. So hopefully tomorrow I will begin the process of getting some magical piece of paper called a "geographic exemption" that will give us the ability to go to a different school than where we're charted to go geographically. For real, could they make this maze of education ANY more confusing?! Even if we get the approval to switch schools I have no idea how difficult it will be to get into this woman's class. The person who told me about her said she's the best preschool teacher on the island. Which is great. Except the fact that everyone and their grandma are probably trying to get in there too. Wish me luck. I hate this crap.
Other than that, not much is going on. Just the same old, same old. I did however purchase a new sewing machine a week ago and have been sewing my little heart out! I always enjoyed sewing when I was a little girl and so it's kind of therapeutic. I honestly don't know what I'm doing (lol) but I'm figuring it out as I go. I've made like 5 pairs of pajama pants for the boys, a purse for myself, a valance for the kitchen window (out of an incredibly ugly chicken fabric remnant I found for $1!! I love ugly things- sounds strange- but it's true), and tonight I almost finished sewing a skirt for myself. I've almost got my little sewing corner set up, when I get it finished I'll post a picture. Now if only I could have like a couple days to lock myself away up here and just sew until I couldn't sew anymore I'd be a happy gal!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Doing the right thing
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am absolutely positively horrific when it comes to dealing with money. I could go on and on about all the money we've stupidly spent over the years... it's quite depressing really.
Today we got our tax returns. As per usual it was a sizable amount of money. Usually Jacob and I take this money and spend it on all sorts of stupid crap we really don't need but want to buy. And it's quite frankly one of my favorite times of year because of that. But this year is the year of growing up and becoming the people we need to be...
So we took almost all of our tax return and paid off our car finally. No more car payments!! YEAH!! And we paid off our credit cards with the rest. Which means we're pretty free and clear now. The only bills we have are our month to month bills (cell phones, internet, etc.) and my student loans. For the first time in our life together we aren't going to have to worry about how we're going to pay everything each month.
It feels good. I definitely feel like a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. But I must admit, it's a little sad too. I had a lot of stuff I wanted to spend that money on! But we really don't need any of those things, and we're probably better off without them!
So here's to doing the right thing!
Today we got our tax returns. As per usual it was a sizable amount of money. Usually Jacob and I take this money and spend it on all sorts of stupid crap we really don't need but want to buy. And it's quite frankly one of my favorite times of year because of that. But this year is the year of growing up and becoming the people we need to be...
So we took almost all of our tax return and paid off our car finally. No more car payments!! YEAH!! And we paid off our credit cards with the rest. Which means we're pretty free and clear now. The only bills we have are our month to month bills (cell phones, internet, etc.) and my student loans. For the first time in our life together we aren't going to have to worry about how we're going to pay everything each month.
It feels good. I definitely feel like a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. But I must admit, it's a little sad too. I had a lot of stuff I wanted to spend that money on! But we really don't need any of those things, and we're probably better off without them!
So here's to doing the right thing!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Meal Plans!
I'm also making pre-made grocery lists. This one isn't filled out yet (obviously) but I'm going to *hopefully* get to it in the next few days. It'll be so nice to have everything laid out!! Grocery shopping is my absolute LEAST favorite kind of shopping, so this should make it a little bit more bearable.
So that's my most recent "organization" project. Still a work in progress, but we're getting there :)
A different perspective
I follow quite a few blogs and caringbridge sites and yesterday one of them wrote about a Bible passage I had read a hundred times before but never thought of it like this.
Matthew 14: 24-31
I've always read this passage and thought about doubt- not trusting in the Lord. But yesterday when I read this persons update they made reference to the fact that it's also about focusing on the Lord, not the storm swirling around you. That and what I had always thought go hand-in-hand but I'd never realized that. It's so easy to get caught up in the storm. To worry and toil over it. But in order to truly trust Him we must point our eyes toward the Lord. Focus on Him. And let the storm worry about itself. I found this incredibly applicable to my life- I'm a worrier! Even before the storm hits I find myself staring at the ominous clouds getting ready to consume me- looking in the wrong direction. I think that if I truly trusted the Lord, with all my heart, soul, and being, I wouldn't be watching the storm- my eyes would be on Him. And so that's what I'm going to try to do. Focus on the Lord. And let the rest worry about itself.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Scatterbrained
It's been awhile since I've updated this- not for lack of ideas, there are so many things I want to blog about. But unfortunately so little time. I've kind of been all over the place recently.
As far as things with Jack, every thing's going really well. I had another meeting with the school last week and although it was pretty much the same meeting we've had 4 times already it seemed to stick more... Hopefully. There were lots of great ideas thrown out and they've already begun implementing some of them which is awesome. I don't think that this is going to fix everything but I think we're moving forward. And I think that the teacher is finally taking Jack's sensory needs seriously. Unfortunately Thursday he came home with a letter saying that one kid has chicken pox followed up with Friday a note about another child having Strep throat and yet another with some sort of mystery illness. So here's hoping that we don't all get super sick. Jack's definitely coming down with something over the past few days. Chances are he won't be in school for the beginning of the week. Preschoolers are like walking petri dishes!
His new tutoring is going really well! We've had two sessions now, one at home on Thursday and one down at their clinic on Saturday morning. Thursday was a bit rough but that was to be expected since this is all really new to him. Saturday he hung in there like a champ! Two hours of intensive learning is a lot! But he did it! He even got his "special activity" for the first time because he worked hard, played nicely, was happy, and listened :) If he does all 4 of those things each day he gets to do something fun- he got to paint a little clay teddy bear that morning and LOVED it! I really think that this new program is going to make a huge difference. I hope that it carries over into school!!
So how am I? Such an interesting question. Very up and down. I have really good days and other days just feel like complete failure. Thankfully I've been pretty productive which helps with my overall mood...
Last week I finally broke down and tackled the toy closet. We have SO much stuff for these kids having had therapy for Jack out of our home for nearly two years now. Jacob swears that I'm crazy and they're just spoiled but I can justify (or so I think) the vast majority of the stuff for it's educational value. It really looks like a preschool in their closet (which is a walk in closet, that gives you an idea of just how much stuff I've got). Everything has a place now and every container has a neat little label I made on the computer with pictures and laminated. I'm hoping this will help the boys help me get stuff put away in the correct places. So far I've been doing most of the clean up, so it's still looking good.
In a desperate attempt to find last years tax information (which has self destructed, I swear! It's not here!!) I've knocked out a room a day trying to find the darn thing. It's nice to have stuff getting back to a manageable order. Sometimes things are just out of control- which is how I feel about the vast majority of our house at this point. But we're getting there, slowly but surely. And hopefully the darn tax paperwork will show up!
I've been pretty good about doing my bible reading. I've stumbled here and there but have caught up fairly easily. Right now I'm a day behind. I haven't felt good at all today so I haven't done today yet but I'm hoping I'll get to it tonight. I've gotten through Matthew and Mark and am about halfway into Luke now. It's really exciting! I can't believe I'm actually doing this! Haha, who'd have thought?!
We officially became Catechumens last night into the Orthodox Church. Which is really exciting but it was a horrible experience. Usually we don't bring the boys to Vespers on Saturday nights because they go to bed at 7 and starting a service at 6:15 with them is just plain foolish. But since it was a special occasion for us we brought them with us. Well we were supposed to do the service before Vespers but Father was late and so we had to wait until after. Liam was just being defiant. Every time I asked him to whisper he would very loudly reply that he didn't want to! Finally I took him outside to the car to talk because the more I talked to him the louder he got. He decided he wanted to just stay in the car so we spent the last half out in the car. Finally at 7:15 we went in and had our little service- at which point Jack repeatedly asked Father where the bread was (they get blessed bread on Sundays) and Liam refused to participate in any capacity. But we made it! And we're officially members of the Russian Orthodox Church! From here we'll be chrismated and baptized at some point down the road and then we'll be full-fledged, 100% active members of the church! I'm really excited!
I've really dug down deep lately, plugging along with all this organizing. I've come up with a plan as to how to organize our eating. I'm so terrible about making meals- if I don't plan it out, I just simply won't do it. And so I've begun creating meal plans. I'm going to make 4 weeks and just rotate through them. Along with each weekly plan I'm going to make a master shopping list that corresponds with each of them individually. Sounds like it should work right? I hope so! Now I just have to dig out all the old recipes and start actually plugging in meals to days. It's been a really fun project- I actually drew little pictures to put on the calendars in Photoshop- something I've never done before. Jacob was shocked and impressed. I may be able to create things on the computer but I've never really actually drawn anything from scratch. When I get a menu finished I'll post it on here!! I'm hoping to get it done by the end of the month so we can start using them!
Instead I'll finish with a couple of pictures of the boys from last night.
As far as things with Jack, every thing's going really well. I had another meeting with the school last week and although it was pretty much the same meeting we've had 4 times already it seemed to stick more... Hopefully. There were lots of great ideas thrown out and they've already begun implementing some of them which is awesome. I don't think that this is going to fix everything but I think we're moving forward. And I think that the teacher is finally taking Jack's sensory needs seriously. Unfortunately Thursday he came home with a letter saying that one kid has chicken pox followed up with Friday a note about another child having Strep throat and yet another with some sort of mystery illness. So here's hoping that we don't all get super sick. Jack's definitely coming down with something over the past few days. Chances are he won't be in school for the beginning of the week. Preschoolers are like walking petri dishes!
His new tutoring is going really well! We've had two sessions now, one at home on Thursday and one down at their clinic on Saturday morning. Thursday was a bit rough but that was to be expected since this is all really new to him. Saturday he hung in there like a champ! Two hours of intensive learning is a lot! But he did it! He even got his "special activity" for the first time because he worked hard, played nicely, was happy, and listened :) If he does all 4 of those things each day he gets to do something fun- he got to paint a little clay teddy bear that morning and LOVED it! I really think that this new program is going to make a huge difference. I hope that it carries over into school!!
So how am I? Such an interesting question. Very up and down. I have really good days and other days just feel like complete failure. Thankfully I've been pretty productive which helps with my overall mood...
Last week I finally broke down and tackled the toy closet. We have SO much stuff for these kids having had therapy for Jack out of our home for nearly two years now. Jacob swears that I'm crazy and they're just spoiled but I can justify (or so I think) the vast majority of the stuff for it's educational value. It really looks like a preschool in their closet (which is a walk in closet, that gives you an idea of just how much stuff I've got). Everything has a place now and every container has a neat little label I made on the computer with pictures and laminated. I'm hoping this will help the boys help me get stuff put away in the correct places. So far I've been doing most of the clean up, so it's still looking good.
In a desperate attempt to find last years tax information (which has self destructed, I swear! It's not here!!) I've knocked out a room a day trying to find the darn thing. It's nice to have stuff getting back to a manageable order. Sometimes things are just out of control- which is how I feel about the vast majority of our house at this point. But we're getting there, slowly but surely. And hopefully the darn tax paperwork will show up!
I've been pretty good about doing my bible reading. I've stumbled here and there but have caught up fairly easily. Right now I'm a day behind. I haven't felt good at all today so I haven't done today yet but I'm hoping I'll get to it tonight. I've gotten through Matthew and Mark and am about halfway into Luke now. It's really exciting! I can't believe I'm actually doing this! Haha, who'd have thought?!
We officially became Catechumens last night into the Orthodox Church. Which is really exciting but it was a horrible experience. Usually we don't bring the boys to Vespers on Saturday nights because they go to bed at 7 and starting a service at 6:15 with them is just plain foolish. But since it was a special occasion for us we brought them with us. Well we were supposed to do the service before Vespers but Father was late and so we had to wait until after. Liam was just being defiant. Every time I asked him to whisper he would very loudly reply that he didn't want to! Finally I took him outside to the car to talk because the more I talked to him the louder he got. He decided he wanted to just stay in the car so we spent the last half out in the car. Finally at 7:15 we went in and had our little service- at which point Jack repeatedly asked Father where the bread was (they get blessed bread on Sundays) and Liam refused to participate in any capacity. But we made it! And we're officially members of the Russian Orthodox Church! From here we'll be chrismated and baptized at some point down the road and then we'll be full-fledged, 100% active members of the church! I'm really excited!
I've really dug down deep lately, plugging along with all this organizing. I've come up with a plan as to how to organize our eating. I'm so terrible about making meals- if I don't plan it out, I just simply won't do it. And so I've begun creating meal plans. I'm going to make 4 weeks and just rotate through them. Along with each weekly plan I'm going to make a master shopping list that corresponds with each of them individually. Sounds like it should work right? I hope so! Now I just have to dig out all the old recipes and start actually plugging in meals to days. It's been a really fun project- I actually drew little pictures to put on the calendars in Photoshop- something I've never done before. Jacob was shocked and impressed. I may be able to create things on the computer but I've never really actually drawn anything from scratch. When I get a menu finished I'll post it on here!! I'm hoping to get it done by the end of the month so we can start using them!
Instead I'll finish with a couple of pictures of the boys from last night.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Stagnent
Ever feel like you're just not doing anything? Like you're not even moving? That is how I feel.
I do a lot of "stuff." Mostly pointless, everyday things. Nothing of any real value. And that sucks. I go through these phases in life where I feel like I'm growing as a person and doing things. Right now I'm very much stuck going through the motions.
I am improving things in my life. That is true. But it still doesn't feel like enough. I guess I've been holding my breath, waiting for a break through moment where things would change. But we're still not there yet. Patience has definitely never been my strong suit.
And so I think what I need to do is just sit and be silent for awhile. Stop pushing forward and trying to break through and just let go... and let God...
I do a lot of "stuff." Mostly pointless, everyday things. Nothing of any real value. And that sucks. I go through these phases in life where I feel like I'm growing as a person and doing things. Right now I'm very much stuck going through the motions.
I am improving things in my life. That is true. But it still doesn't feel like enough. I guess I've been holding my breath, waiting for a break through moment where things would change. But we're still not there yet. Patience has definitely never been my strong suit.
And so I think what I need to do is just sit and be silent for awhile. Stop pushing forward and trying to break through and just let go... and let God...
Friday, January 14, 2011
I did it!
I just moments ago finished reading the book of Matthew. I am quite proud of myself. 1 week and 1 chapter down! I'm excited to keep going :) I truly feel God at work in my life and I'm so thankful to be able to draw close to Him through His word. It's nice to sit down mid-day and just have some time with God both in reading the Bible and in prayer!
And I got some exciting new yesterday, we are going to become Catechumen in the Orthodox Church! Hopefully this weekend! Basically that means we're officially excepted into the Church and on our way to being Baptized into the Orthodox faith. I was baptized as an infant into the Catholic Church but this is different. Becoming Orthodox (to me) is really a reorganization of my relationship and recommitment to Christ. I'm excited to actively pursue my relationship with Christ in a whole new way!!
In other news, we've got a pretty nasty cold going around our house. Jack was first last week and I was able to hold it off pretty well with lots of vitamins and some Benadryl to help him sleep. Liam came next with rivers of snot everywhere and quite the attitude to match. He's still recovering (with the aid of Vitamins and Benadryl of course) and I think we're nearing the end. But unfortunately Jacob's sick now. He's been coming down with it for a couple days now and is quite miserable. So inevitably I will get it too. I'm trying hard to stay healthy- lots of vitamins and sleep. But I'm not going to hold my breath, I always get sick last and always stay sick the longest. Here's hoping we can at least hold off until Tuesday. I have too much to do this weekend!
Things are pretty up and down with Jack these days. We're going in for his assessment Monday and it will be interesting to see what they have to say. I'm excited to get a new plan in place and start moving forward again! Everything with the school is still relatively turbulent- still not eating, they're still not doing virtually any sensory with him during the day, and we're STILL waiting to have our next meeting. I just don't understand why no one else feels a sense of urgency in this. For Jack to start improving and moving forward we all have to be onboard. And it will be good for everyone involved! But unfortunately they're all SOOO BUSY and the meeting just isn't getting scheduled. We'll see if there's any news in Jack's notebook when he comes home today!
Although things in my life have been going relatively well since the terrible day I had on Tuesday I must say I have a very heavy heart today. One year ago today a beautiful baby girl named Hazel went home to Jesus. My heart just breaks for her parents Ryan and Angie. But I know that one day they will be reunited, just as I will be with Zoe, and live for all of eternity in Paradise...
And I got some exciting new yesterday, we are going to become Catechumen in the Orthodox Church! Hopefully this weekend! Basically that means we're officially excepted into the Church and on our way to being Baptized into the Orthodox faith. I was baptized as an infant into the Catholic Church but this is different. Becoming Orthodox (to me) is really a reorganization of my relationship and recommitment to Christ. I'm excited to actively pursue my relationship with Christ in a whole new way!!
In other news, we've got a pretty nasty cold going around our house. Jack was first last week and I was able to hold it off pretty well with lots of vitamins and some Benadryl to help him sleep. Liam came next with rivers of snot everywhere and quite the attitude to match. He's still recovering (with the aid of Vitamins and Benadryl of course) and I think we're nearing the end. But unfortunately Jacob's sick now. He's been coming down with it for a couple days now and is quite miserable. So inevitably I will get it too. I'm trying hard to stay healthy- lots of vitamins and sleep. But I'm not going to hold my breath, I always get sick last and always stay sick the longest. Here's hoping we can at least hold off until Tuesday. I have too much to do this weekend!
Things are pretty up and down with Jack these days. We're going in for his assessment Monday and it will be interesting to see what they have to say. I'm excited to get a new plan in place and start moving forward again! Everything with the school is still relatively turbulent- still not eating, they're still not doing virtually any sensory with him during the day, and we're STILL waiting to have our next meeting. I just don't understand why no one else feels a sense of urgency in this. For Jack to start improving and moving forward we all have to be onboard. And it will be good for everyone involved! But unfortunately they're all SOOO BUSY and the meeting just isn't getting scheduled. We'll see if there's any news in Jack's notebook when he comes home today!
Although things in my life have been going relatively well since the terrible day I had on Tuesday I must say I have a very heavy heart today. One year ago today a beautiful baby girl named Hazel went home to Jesus. My heart just breaks for her parents Ryan and Angie. But I know that one day they will be reunited, just as I will be with Zoe, and live for all of eternity in Paradise...
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