Casting Crowns is one of my all time favorite bands... I honestly don't think there's a single song of theirs I don't love... But this is one of my favorites:
This has been our first time really experiencing Lent in the Orthodox church... It's been a struggle, between the extra church services and fasting we've had good days and bad. But I'm incredibly thankful we're on this path.
Last night we attended the Matins of the 12 Passion Gospels service. It was the first time I've ever been to it and I honestly had no idea what we were in for. It ended up being a three hour service full of prostrations, beautiful singing by our choir, 12 Passion Gospel readings, and a lot of emotion. It's hard not to get emotional when thinking about what Christ has done for us...
Much has happened in the last 40-some days. I've blogged less than I thought I would after giving up facebook but I think this has allowed me to really delve deep into my own spirituality and struggles. One of these days I'm going to blog about all that has gone on but for now I'm just going to leave it at that.
Hope everyone has a truly blessed Easter weekend.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
IEP shock
Life has been crazy here. I'm starting to come to the realization that maybe this isn't 'crazy.' Rather, this is the new 'normal.'
Today we had Jack's IEP meeting. I tried to prepare. Wrote myself lots of notes and lists. Even took a class about IEP last week. But the class wasn't really all that helpful to be honest. Rather, it left me with the feeling that I have all too often and the same feeling I get from the Autism community.
One of the biggest reasons I dislike the Autism community is that it's all a big contest. My child is more/less Autistic than yours, I have more/less to complain about than so-and-so, it goes on and on. It's completely awful. It makes me sick. And is why I don't really want anything to do with the Autism community. It doesn't take long on message boards for people to start jumping on one another and trying to 'one-up' one another. I don't want to play that game. I always leave feeling like my child isn't "autistic enough." Like I have no reason to complain. But no one knows what it's like to be in our home. Sure my child can talk, and I'm thankful for that, but that doesn't mean that my child always can/does use that ability to convey emotions and problems. And it certainly doesn't mean that we don't have other problems... I kind of got that feeling again today while in the meeting...
Back to the IEP meeting. There are things that really, really, really annoy me about the department of education. But since it costs about the same amount of money it would take to buy a new car to send your child to private school here it is what it is. After a two hour meeting we were left with resinating, simple statement. "We would like to 'mainstream' Jack." Which is AMAZING! That is the goal in it all, to get Jack into an inclusion classroom. However, I just don't know that he's ready. Everyone there seemed to think he is. I do want Jack to be challenged. I do want my child to succeed. But I don't know if I think he's ready to hold his own yet. And there inevitably will be repercussions if we do this and it's not the right decision. We don't really have much time to make a decision either. The classes fill up quickly and it's really important for us to make a decision sooner than later to get a spot. So tomorrow morning we're going to go visit the classroom and see. Everyone else has already jumped on this bandwagon- except me... I'm not sure if it's mother's intuition or if I'm just being overprotective... Either way, I'm really scared.
Crazy how we (Jacob and myself) went from being so gung-ho about homeschooling the boys to suddenly considering transferring Jack to a different school and possibly Liam too. Right now Liam just stays home with me but where Jack will be going Liam could attend too...
It's funny how a meeting can literally flip your whole life upside down... I guess that's what I get for thinking I've got it all figured out...
Today we had Jack's IEP meeting. I tried to prepare. Wrote myself lots of notes and lists. Even took a class about IEP last week. But the class wasn't really all that helpful to be honest. Rather, it left me with the feeling that I have all too often and the same feeling I get from the Autism community.
One of the biggest reasons I dislike the Autism community is that it's all a big contest. My child is more/less Autistic than yours, I have more/less to complain about than so-and-so, it goes on and on. It's completely awful. It makes me sick. And is why I don't really want anything to do with the Autism community. It doesn't take long on message boards for people to start jumping on one another and trying to 'one-up' one another. I don't want to play that game. I always leave feeling like my child isn't "autistic enough." Like I have no reason to complain. But no one knows what it's like to be in our home. Sure my child can talk, and I'm thankful for that, but that doesn't mean that my child always can/does use that ability to convey emotions and problems. And it certainly doesn't mean that we don't have other problems... I kind of got that feeling again today while in the meeting...
Back to the IEP meeting. There are things that really, really, really annoy me about the department of education. But since it costs about the same amount of money it would take to buy a new car to send your child to private school here it is what it is. After a two hour meeting we were left with resinating, simple statement. "We would like to 'mainstream' Jack." Which is AMAZING! That is the goal in it all, to get Jack into an inclusion classroom. However, I just don't know that he's ready. Everyone there seemed to think he is. I do want Jack to be challenged. I do want my child to succeed. But I don't know if I think he's ready to hold his own yet. And there inevitably will be repercussions if we do this and it's not the right decision. We don't really have much time to make a decision either. The classes fill up quickly and it's really important for us to make a decision sooner than later to get a spot. So tomorrow morning we're going to go visit the classroom and see. Everyone else has already jumped on this bandwagon- except me... I'm not sure if it's mother's intuition or if I'm just being overprotective... Either way, I'm really scared.
Crazy how we (Jacob and myself) went from being so gung-ho about homeschooling the boys to suddenly considering transferring Jack to a different school and possibly Liam too. Right now Liam just stays home with me but where Jack will be going Liam could attend too...
It's funny how a meeting can literally flip your whole life upside down... I guess that's what I get for thinking I've got it all figured out...
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