Life has been crazy here. I'm starting to come to the realization that maybe this isn't 'crazy.' Rather, this is the new 'normal.'
Today we had Jack's IEP meeting. I tried to prepare. Wrote myself lots of notes and lists. Even took a class about IEP last week. But the class wasn't really all that helpful to be honest. Rather, it left me with the feeling that I have all too often and the same feeling I get from the Autism community.
One of the biggest reasons I dislike the Autism community is that it's all a big contest. My child is more/less Autistic than yours, I have more/less to complain about than so-and-so, it goes on and on. It's completely awful. It makes me sick. And is why I don't really want anything to do with the Autism community. It doesn't take long on message boards for people to start jumping on one another and trying to 'one-up' one another. I don't want to play that game. I always leave feeling like my child isn't "autistic enough." Like I have no reason to complain. But no one knows what it's like to be in our home. Sure my child can talk, and I'm thankful for that, but that doesn't mean that my child always can/does use that ability to convey emotions and problems. And it certainly doesn't mean that we don't have other problems... I kind of got that feeling again today while in the meeting...
Back to the IEP meeting. There are things that really, really, really annoy me about the department of education. But since it costs about the same amount of money it would take to buy a new car to send your child to private school here it is what it is. After a two hour meeting we were left with resinating, simple statement. "We would like to 'mainstream' Jack." Which is AMAZING! That is the goal in it all, to get Jack into an inclusion classroom. However, I just don't know that he's ready. Everyone there seemed to think he is. I do want Jack to be challenged. I do want my child to succeed. But I don't know if I think he's ready to hold his own yet. And there inevitably will be repercussions if we do this and it's not the right decision. We don't really have much time to make a decision either. The classes fill up quickly and it's really important for us to make a decision sooner than later to get a spot. So tomorrow morning we're going to go visit the classroom and see. Everyone else has already jumped on this bandwagon- except me... I'm not sure if it's mother's intuition or if I'm just being overprotective... Either way, I'm really scared.
Crazy how we (Jacob and myself) went from being so gung-ho about homeschooling the boys to suddenly considering transferring Jack to a different school and possibly Liam too. Right now Liam just stays home with me but where Jack will be going Liam could attend too...
It's funny how a meeting can literally flip your whole life upside down... I guess that's what I get for thinking I've got it all figured out...
Sounds like that school is a great option. And it sounds like you feel right about it. Hope it all works out <3
ReplyDeleteHi Steph,
ReplyDeleteI understand your feelings about the autism community. And just so you know, it isn't limited to autism. I think much of it goes back to the way we qualify kids for special education or disability services. Parents learn to focus on the deficits instead of the uniqueness of their child. It's very sad and I have watched families get swallowed up by it.
Some of our best school plans have come from IEP meetings like the one you describe! I started my journey as a special education parent thinking that the IEP meeting was like an arm wrestling match. You go in and grasp hands with those who are helping your child, but it was more like a contest to see who would win. I don't see it that way anymore. The IEP meeting is a team meeting. Sometimes other people on the team have some great ideas that have worked well with other kids but I am always there to make sure the ideas are tweaked to meet the uniqueness of my child.
Trust your gut, keep your mind open and don't forget to spend time on your knees as you consider the school option. You'll be in my prayers. ♥
~Kari
Motherhood is next to divinity. I salute parents especially mothers who got an autistic child..it's never easy! It calls for everything ,ones values ,ones whole being! Writer may God bless you more strength , wisdom and love to share.
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