I find Facebook completely perverse. Don't get me wrong, social media does indeed have a place and does do good things. But what I see most frequently is not that. (I'm going to go ahead and use the word "we" although I'm mostly referring to myself, I'm not pointing my finger at anyone else, but I do think these statements apply to others, surely they do.) We use facebook updating our status 10 times a day about what color our poop was, how many times our kid cried, that we're pissed because the lady at the grocery store gave us the stank eye, that someone cut us off in traffic, and so on. Let's be honest, none of this matters. I shouldn't get upset because someone cut you off in traffic, and quite frankly neither should you. It's life. By having this soap box to stand on we begin to think that it's ok to complain and moan about the most rediculous things. Society seems as if we're no longer able to deal with day to day things. Everything is bigger than it should be. And most of it isn't even important. It's this "celebrity" mentality that we get caught up in. Like people SHOULD care. But they don't. They may say they do, but chances are they really don't.
And "friends" on facebook... I know people who have 100's of friends. Now I would challenge those people to give me 10 facts about a quarter of those people, real facts, not stupid status update facts. As we begin to invest our time and energy into these fake relationships our real relationships inevitably begin to deteriorate. Instead of sending someone a hand written note or a thought out email we drop someone a note on Facebook with some short, meaningless, impersonal thought. There's no real relationship involved there. When things go south in your life those status updates and notes won't hold you while you cry. They won't comfort you when the world's falling apart. You need real life people to do that. The computer will never be able to hug you, no matter how many times you use "(( ))" or "***" or any other weird use of punctuation, those things don't replace tangible, real relationships.
I also find myself falling into this trap of envy. It's so easy to be envious of what others have when it's up in your face all the time. Everyone's lives look so honky-dory online. But I doubt they really are. So much of what I see on Facebook is completely fake. But our human nature doesn't necessarily get that. Whether that person's life is truly perfect or not is irrelevant when their "perfection" is right there all day. And I'm human. I get jealous.
Somedays it's SO hard to see people complaining about how crabby their kids are (which I know I've done too!) when Jack's been screaming and literally bouncing off the walls because he's completely disregulated from a bad day at school. What I would give to have regular good old temper tantrums. It's hard not to envy others being able to go out and do whatever they want as a family regardless of fluorescent lighting, crowds, and noise levels. I can't help but envy those moms who can take both kids out to the grocery store alone. I can't do that. And I hate it. And facebook just brings those things to the surface. What I'd give to be able to watch some trashy reality t.v. instead of arguing with the school over Jack's education and having phone call after phone call with the insurance company and tutors to get him the things he needs.
Which then brings me onto the whole babies and pregnancy thing. It's been well over a year now since I have wanted to get pregnant again (I've stopped counting). And it's been almost 5 months since we lost Zoe. Seeing EVERYONE (and I mean that, for real, EVERYONE is pregnant or just had a baby!) going on and on about morning sickness and ultrasounds and midnight bottle feedings and diaper changes HURTS. It really hurts.
Now I realize most of this lies within me. I get that. But I do think that facebook is going to be the downfall of our society... ok maybe that's a bit dramatic, but there's some validity to it. People don't even know how to spell anymore. People don't know how to have a meaningful conversation. People don't really interact with one another. People don't even know what's real and truly important anymore. And that's sad!
So I'm ditching the facebook for awhile. Lent is a time to draw close to God and realize what has been done for us. A time to deal with our passions and our demons. To come to know ourselves and truly know God. And that's exactly what I'm going to try to do.
So here we go. Day 1 almost down. It's been surprisingly easy so far. I've thought about it from time to time but I've managed to keep myself busy and so it hasn't been too much of a struggle. It kind of feels like I've cut one of the chains holding me down. Who knows, maybe I won't go back after Easter...
