The struggle...

Another day, another struggle. I feel pretty overwhelmed and exhausted at this point. So many things I want and need to do but so little desire to actually do anything. Which is a big part in why it's been so long since I posted. 
We had a friend of Jacob's Aunt and Uncle stay with us for a few days earlier this week. As much as I absolutely hate having guests in our house (poor Jack really struggles with any changes and other people in our house inevitably leads to all sorts of changes) it was kind of refreshing having him here. He just finished attending a men's retreat on the Big Island and stopped here on Oahu for a business meeting and to spend some time with Jacob. It was nice to see Jacob getting to talk to someone about God. He just lights up with passion... It's truly wonderful. They had great conversation after great conversation and I was fortunate enough to be able to listen to some of them (I was on kiddo duty the vast majority of the time he was here) and it was a breathe of fresh air. I truly believe walking in my faith would be easier if I was surrounded by other people who love the Lord. I am blessed to have a couple good friends that I can turn to, but unfortunately none here in Hawaii. Maybe someday! One of these days I'm going to work up the courage and stop being so shy at church! 
Jacob was supposed to be leaving Sunday to go to some training out in Maryland but after some technical difficulties at the travel office this morning they were unable to get the paperwork filed for him to go. YEA!!! It was only going to be two weeks but I was a little freaked out at the prospect of being all alone with the boys with no break for two weeks- especially after I discovered one of those week is Jack's spring break! I'm so thankful Jacob's not going. Seriously. What a blessing. He will have to go at some point. But not this weekend and that's all that matters!
I picked up my Bible for the first time in over a month this afternoon. I was sitting here contemplating what to do with this time during Liam's nap and out of the corner of my eye I saw my Bible sitting next to the computer desk, literally covered in dust. Not a good sign. No wonder I'm struggling these days huh? I read a few chapters and feel good about finally getting back on the horse. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other...
This coming Monday is the beginning of Lent which is quite a big deal in the Orthodox church to say the least. Orthodox fast from meat, dairy, all animal products, wine, and olive oil for the 40 days, plus you're supposed to limit your time you spend listening to the radio, watching t.v., watching movies, etc. so that you can focus on Christ. It's really a beautiful thing. We've started doing the food fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays (which Orthodox do all year long) and it's much harder than I anticipated. Since we're new to this we're not expected to adhere to the strict fast for 40 days but we're going to start off with two days a week and see where we end up. It's exciting really. I find it really wonderful to be part of a tradition, especially one that is deeply rooted in history and incredibly meaningful.
I think I'm going to try to give up Facebook for Lent. It's something I've been talking about doing for awhile now (when I actually take the plunge I'll elaborate on the reasons why). Facebook is a real distraction for me, and Lent is a time to purge our lives of those things. So I think I'm going to use Lent as the real push to do this! So look forward to a post in the next few days on whether I've done it or not :)