Another week...

Here we go again! Today started off pretty rough. But I feel fairly in good spirits now... Let's hope it lasts! My meeting with the school was cancelled today because Jack's teacher is out (again!) today so hopefully we'll reschedule for next week. This may work to my favor being that our new tutoring company is starting up this week so maybe they'll be able to tag along and give me some pointers? We'll see! I must admit I'm a little glad it was cancelled, as much as I want to get these meetings over and get a plan in place I'm excited to spend the afternoon bumming around the house :) It's dreary and overcast here today and it's incredibly hard for me to find motivation on days like these!


So far the reading of the New Testament is going really well! It hasn't even been quite a week yet but I haven't missed a day! I can fairly confidently say that reading the Bible has become routine at this point. I decided to do my reading around noon each day which works out perfectly for two reasons. One, it kind of breathes fresh air into my day, I feel refreshed and accomplished when I finish, even though it's only a few chapters each day I'm sticking to it! Two, it offers me an absolutely legitimate "excuse" to take a break in the middle of the day. Jacob's home for lunch and so I leave him and Liam to themselves to have lunch together and watch some cartoons. It works out perfectly!


I've read the book of Matthew a few times before, I can honestly say it's one of the very few books of the Bible I've read in it's entirety more than once. It's interesting to see all the verses I underlined on previous reads, and to reflect on what they mean to me now. It's kind of a bonus to re-reading the one chapter I've already covered before!


So in today's reading there were several verses that stood out to me (which is pretty common, my Bible is going to be just straight underlined before long :)) but the one that really hit me was Matthew 16:24-25:


Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.


If there is one thing I cannot deny it's my lack of denying myself. I'm entirely selfish and self-indulgent. But I guess I've always kind of chocked it up to "the human condition." In the end, that's just a cop-out. I'm not 100% perfectly sure how to do this. But I know that I need to... That I want to... 


And so with that I'm going to make baby-steps too. My goal for this week is to attend church regularly. I know, I know, it's terrible that I have to make a goal of this. It's become kind of a Sunday tradition for me to get out of going and Jacob taking the boys by himself. Which, not gonna lie, is awesome! It allows me a few hours at home, by myself, to do whatever I want. But where's the trade off? Is that few hours of alone time worth my salvation? Now don't get me wrong, I do not believe that going to church necessarily reflects whether or not you're going to Heaven. But for me, in order to become the person I need to be, to become Christ-like, I must submerge myself in His word. And the easiest and best way to do that is attending Church. For awhile we had been attending a class at the Orthodox Church on Tuesdays, a class at the Baptist Church Wednesdays, Saturday nights and Sunday mornings were at the Orthodox Church, and Sunday evenings were at the Baptist Church. I would be lying if I were to deny the fact that I was feeling pretty darn good spiritually then. 


Although many of the beliefs I hold aren't quite in line with the Baptist Church their classes and fellowship are AMAZING. And it spurred many a good conversation between the hubby and I about our faith. So we're going to go back. I actually received a phone call from the Associate Pastor over there this morning "checking in" with us to invite us back. That's one thing that I really appreciate about them, although it's literally been TWO months since we've been there our boys receive post cards from the Sunday school class every couple weeks and we've received several letters from the Pastors. It's nice to feel like you're missed! And I miss them too!


So that's my goal this week, attend Church! It feels a little ridiculous to even write that but it's true, and I absolutely need that to be a priority in my life!!